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Growing UP!

I think that I am finally growing up. Last month I turned 32 and I guess it didn't "hit" me the way it should have...until just recently. So, for the past 5 years or so I've been looking into Alternative Certification Programs (teaching) and never did a damn thing about it. Things always happened and I've always put it to the side and moved on to something else. Well, this past Tuesday I finally got the courage and determination to go and sign up for one of these programs. I'm really excited about it and I can't wait to start going to the classes. It starts in September and it will only be a couple of months. I do have to take a test in October in order to get certified ... that scares me a bit. I don't know if I have what it takes to actually make it but I really want this. It's my first step to finally settling down and starting a career.

I've also given my resignation at my part time (night) job effective next Wednesday. This will give me time to spend with Cole and make up for the time that I'll be in class for the next couple of months. I can't wait for my last day... I've been doing it for so long.

I'm just trying to give meaning to my life...

Arizona

Lots to say...way too tired to write it all. Just saw Spiderman 3! Great movie.

Arizona is great. The weather is perfect - no humidity which equals great curls.

I'll post later about Coles family and the reunion thing. OMG...bunch of weirdos! For real...they're cool though.

Gotta go, Cole is all alone in bed. :)

The weekend

This weekend was fun and laid back for the most part. On Saturday Cole got her haircut and we went to demo the wii. We also watched some Harry Potter – yes, you read right Harry Potter. So what if I had never seen the movies or read the books... I didn't know they were gonna be so much fun. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a bit skeptical about reading the books, but the movies are not bad at all. I'm turning into a geek! Shit!

On Sunday we went to see one of Cole's friends that had replied to the ad on Craigslist, (we're trying to find adoptive parents for Chase). Well, no dice! Her german shepherd and Chase got along while playing in the yard but once they were inside the house it was chaos. So much for that!

This whole Chase situation has got me thinking a bit... I say that I want babies but I don't even have the time or energy to deal with a dog. Is that a sign? What kind of a mother am I going to be if I can't even deal with a puppy? Maybe my first instinct of NOT having any children is the one I should follow. I don't know...

Anyway, getting back to the weekend...we also did the whole Super Bowl thing. YAY FOR THE COLTS! Way happy about that, too bad I didn't bet. The commercials during the game weren't as entertaining as past years but the Block Buster one was clearly one of the best. (In my opinion anyway).

Super Bowl XLI

Watching the game... initially thought the Bears really wanted this more than the Colts. Wow, was I wrong! I know it's not a big lead at half time... but I think that the Colts can actually do it!!!


GO COLTS!
I sit here deep in thought, trying to analyze what my life once was and what I want it to be. I've come to realize that OMFG its 2007; I'm way past my teenage years, way past my twenties; basically way past my prime. I suddenly feel old.



Having children was never an issue; I've known all along that I didn't want any. That is until now. I got this maternal instinct going on; it's sickening and cute at the same time. I smile...thank God I'm a lesbian and Cole is not afraid of giving birth. I wish we were starting a family but right now is not exactly the best time to get pregnant. Other things need to happen before we make such a decision. Things like getting a bigger place and finding some financial stability … okay so they are major things but part of me is already picturing a romantic evening that includes a turkey baster. Yes, the old fashioned lesbian way of making a baby. Why not? I think it's way HOT!



(sigh)…I want a baby!

Dad

His birthday rapidly approaching...Nov 29...he would have been 71 years old. I remember his birthday last year...he had arrived in San Antonio just a couple of weeks earlier. After 3 long years of not seeing him, I was really happy that they had finally had made the journey over - for good! It didn't take much to put a smile on his face - bought him some cake and ice cream, that was enough to make his day. I felt so happy and proud...he certainly didn't look his age and by the look of things the cancer had been in remission. Things were looking really good!

Not even a year goes by and he is no longer with me...the cancer we thought was under control, crept up and took his spirit first, his heart second and shortly after his life. September 02, 2006 ... i'll never forget the day I had to hold my father's hand while he gave his last breath.

Happy Birthday Daddy-O! May you REST IN PEACE.

Random thoughts

WTF? Why is this blank little box so damn intimidating?

I guess I know deep down inside me there are a lot of things to be said and at the same time shared - that scares me. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever! Get over it!

Dog needs to be walked, dishes need to be done, the bed is still not made and I really don't care. It's gonna get done eventually. Silence... All I hear is the AC going... how freaky is that? I should put some music on.... Fire alarm .... in the next apartment. YIKES!

Okay, making progress. Music is on - Depeche is kicking some serious lyrics. LOVE it!

I can't stop thinking about her; I miss her so much when she is not here. It's like a huge chunk of me is missing. A couple of more hours and she'll be home...everything will be perfect then. God, but every minute seems like an hour. But this is exactly what I wanted...it's all worth it! Just to see her walk in through the door and hear her say "Honey, I'm home!"; it's all fucking worth it.

Jesus Christ! Why is it so hot in here? Am I having hot flashes...??

Love is all about sacrifice!

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